A Forgiving Church
by Fr.Gus Carter
9/11/05

I recall one of Dante's images of hell. He portrayed Lucifer, the fallen angel and chief antagonist of God, as a three-headed monster. One head was chewing on the misdeeds of history's greatest traitors. Lucifer was crying in anguish. He was punishing these people to his own immense sorrow. Dante was giving us a portrait of vengeful people. In seeking revenge they are punishing themselves. The first reading today says, "Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight." Jesus wants us to forgive for our own sake and for the sake of others.
Say some one hurts me. If I let this hurt preoccupy my mind by seeking vengeance, I am allowing this person to continue to hurt me. Someone can hurt me once. I can let them continue to hurt me for years by not forgiving and trying to "get even" At times the offending person hardly remembers the pain the he has caused. My thoughts of hatred do not touch him. Yet by hanging on to what happened, I am poisoning my own life.

Years ago I read that one of the most difficult attitudes to heal is bitterness. Bitterness offers psychological permission to hurt others. "I have been hurt," they say, "that gives me good reason to hurt others." In this way the bitter person frees himself from remorse. However, to maintain the bitter attitude he has to search out and remember and intensify the misdeeds of others. One author commented that the bitter person collects bitterness stamps. When he collects enough of them, he gives himself permission to do almost any mean deed. What a cruel way to live, nurturing hatred in one's own heart and causing spite in the hearts of others. I say to myself, "I cannot afford to be bitter. I am not sure what it might do to others, but it will poison my own heart." There is an old saying, "Bitterness is an acid that disfigures one's own soul."
Anger and vengeance can be instinctive responses to situations in life. It is terrible, though~ to let these become permanent dispositions of our minds and hearts. We must be careful not to let these become traits in our character. Those who do, the Bible calls sinners.

We all need to be forgiven. We have all offended God and others. I think that the Lord could not have created the kind of world we live in without forgiveness. Without forgiveness the whole world would be filled with raging maniacs. In getting even we nearly always want to get a little more than even. Retaliation increases violence in the world. There would be no cooperation or friendships. Because our Creator is merciful and loving, he creates a world in which sin can be overcome. Forgiveness makes possible the renewal of friendships. The experience of many people is that once they forgive, the path becomes open to deeper friendship.

Today's Gospel concludes Matthew's section on church life. He is telling us that in Christian community there must be no limit to the times we must be willing to forgive those who have offended us. The king in the parable represents God. We must model our forgiveness on that of the Lord. The gifts freely given to us, God's life, God's mercy, God's grace, we must share with others. By the same token we must share the forgiveness Christ has given us. Jesus forgave in the middle of the torments of the crucifixion. We remember Jesus' words. "Father, forgiven them for they know not what they do." In modern sociology we are told that forgiveness transforms us from victims to survivors. We do not let certain bad experiences ruin our whole life. Forgiveness allows us to move on.
There is one caution about forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean rewarding bad behavior. We have all. heard of tough love. If a person barrows money and does not pay it back, do not reward bad behavior by allowing carelessness about debts by lending again. Alcoholics Anonymous tells us not to support persons who spend their money on alcohol or drugs. Punishment for bad deeds of children should not be relented out of false love. Forgiveness should never be a license to sin. Making decisions to aid the spiritual development of others is an act of love.